my letter to mully
honey bunny baby,
i'm sorry, sayang. our conversation this morning had strucked my heart like a quick jolt of electricity from a lightning on a sunny day. never before had i realized how i have been acting such a real jerk when it comes to our relationship. i have been a complete selfish moron who didn't know how much he owns and took everything for granted until a lovely someone slapped him on the face and poured a basket full of water to wake him up from his dream.
i've learned my lesson.
that little morning incident, contrary to your belief, made me love you even more. you have expressed what you feel, you told me what the consequences are if the bad goes on, and in the most subtle of ways, you have guided me on how to work on this relationship, as i have asked you to do. your approach might not be the most perfect way to discuss the matter, but nonetheless.
i couldn't expect better from you.
i really hope this so-called relationship works, hon. no matter how many times you should wake me up with your phone calls during the foggiest, earliest, darkest and coldest hour of victoria's morning. it's going to be hard, challenging, tedious, even boring, hope-falsifying and dangerously fight-inducing. we have been doing this long distance relation for more than 2 years now, and we have more than enough experience to prove how true the aforementioned statement is. but believe me, hon. if that is what i have to face to keep this relationship works for the next 4 years, by all means i will do it.
with your guidance, of course. tell me how i have been doing. tell me how to improve. tell me what other means of communication should i explore. tell me what i need to know. criticize me if you have to. heck, for heaven's sake, i'll do any (sane) thing as long as you don't leave me for another man. that, i cannot tolerate.
it will take time, sayang. don't expect me to be 'the perfect guy' in an instance. we will go through another step, other kind of process, growing older and wiser and perhaps even crankier, together. but that's okay. because i love you.
and i just cannot express how much i've been missing you today.
love,
your dumb pain-in-the-ass boyfriend who tries to be a better man