the story of emil
2005
once upon a time live a fun, carefree college boy named emil. he works hard, study hard, all his friends call him as the soul.
[college boy emil]
"whassup, dude?"
little do they know that at night he shows up as one of the gangster member of the most ghetto part in the city.
[preman mangga dua emil]
"gimme ye monnay or i'll make ye cry for ye mama!"
2008
three years later he graduated from university and devotes himself to work as a corporate slave doing taxes return for stupid clients.
[corporate slave emil]
"the interest rate in canada is not tax deductible, therefore your position as a borrower remains constant."
2013
sick of balance updates, boring conferences and a measly wage, he applies as a secret agent for CSIS and got placed in russia.
[russian spy emil]
"joe-four-eight-three-zero. target is moving. repeat. target has a gun! over!"
2014
it doesn't take long before he can no longer stand the cold weather. he finally goes to L.A. and declares himself as the trendiest fashionista in the community (that is, after he found out that he's not as straight as he thought he was).
[fashionista emil]
"darling, your faux-dolce & gabbana strapless would make armani cry in his grave!"
2017
after a big cat fight over a $35,000 prada purse with paris hilton (and lost it), he decides to change his direction in life and be a leather daddy for all BDSM lovers out there. he figures all bottoms would dig his hairy body.
[bondage master emil]
"spank my ass, you bitch, or you'll feel the pain from my whip!"
2029
disillusioned by the earth hell's lifestyle and the fast-growing technology of the future, he endures a mid-life crisis and changes his skin. no, really. he finds out that he's actually an alien mutant from planet XXX—queer and goth at the same time, nonetheless— and contrives to show his true skin.
[queer goth alien freak emil]
"wanna taste the future, love?"
the end
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*powered by: storTroopers