mourning my pathetic life
just around five more sips and the whole bottle of malibu would be finished.
no i don't fuckin care anymore. i can get drunk whenever i want, whenever i fuckin want, whenever i fuckin want. be it when i'm gay or when i'm grim.
three more sips. my head's a little bit tipsy right now. and yes i still don't fuckin care.
she has a new boyfriend. that motherfuckin whore has a new fuckin boyfriend. firman or whatever his name is. that bastard sonofabitch.
"for a week," she answered when i asked how long they've been together. just for the record, we just broke up three weeks ago.
do the math. that means she immediately got herself a fuckin new boyfriend two freakin weeks after she dumped me. that motherfuckin bitch dumped me in my face, left me broken-hearted and two weeks later, two, freakin weeks later, she found herself a fuckin new boyfriend.
"it's not as bad as it sounds, i've known him before we broke up. he's been there when i was still with you," she explained. "please forgive me," she pleaded.
right. as if that would clarify things and make them better. as if knowing that that motherfuckin bastard has been her undercover friend since when we were still together would comfort me and i would easily understand, grant her forgiveness and all those shites.
as if she doesn't know that those make things even far worse than the way they have been in the first place.
kiss my hairy ass, sweetie, and i shall forgive you. in your dream.
prolly it's better if i don't know about all these. prolly that's why i hate friendster. prolly i should kill my loser self so everyone would be happy as a clam.
i almost couldn't believe my eyes when i checked my friendster account and saw her new photos. i couldn't believe my eyes when i saw her 'in a relationship' status. i couldn't yet believe me eyes when i saw the captions of the photos. my heart was beating so fast and i had a short panic attack that made my asthma relapsed. yes, it was that intense.
two more sips and the bottle is empty.
"he's in japan," she carefully said.
POW! that was a harder hit on my face than ever before. nice job, bitch. you dumped me three weks ago because you couldn't stand the distance, and two weeks later you found yourself with a new lovey-dovey fuckin new freakin long fuckin distance freakin relationship. nice touch. hands down, you got me right there with my pants down too.
i was filled with rage when i found out through friendster, my body almost shaked, and i had to calm myself down before i began to call her. "hello?" she answered. i trembled. i took a deep breath and answered back. she instantly recognized my voice and asked my how am i doing cheerfully.
i was just about to explode.
"are you happy with him?" i asked. and that's when i regret asking it in the first place because that's when she started comparing me, her fuckin pathetic ex-boyfriend with that fuckin bastard she's dating with now. "he's nice, and he's very understanding, and yada yada yada..."
fuckin hell.
and what does that make me, a sorry-ass ex-boyfriend who knows shit about dating and living a pathetic life in general?
"please do good with your study, mil, or else your parents gonna blame me for doing this to you." and that's all you care about, right bitch? that's all you care about. your 'nice' reputation in front of my family. with your licking ass ways of gaining the sympathy of my family. MY family.
fuck, bitch. get outthaway.
so let's review everything up til this point. she dumped me three weeks.. no, wait. she first befriend this firman bastard while she was still with me together. and then she dumped me three weeks ago, and a week ago she immediately declared that bastard to be her new boyfriend, leaving me stranded and broken-hearted, without even telling me about it. oh, and she used the distance and time as reasons of why we should break up. just when i agreed, she found herself commited to a new long distance relationship with a guy that she barely knows.
wow. that means the whole five years i've been together with her was meaningless.
the bottle is empty now.
hold on, i'm just about to kill myself.